IF YOU'RE NOT SURE THAT YOU QUALIFY AS A TRUE SENIOR CITIZEN, THE FOLLOWING CHECKLIST MAY BE OF ASSISTANCE:

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
The gleam in your eye is the sun shining on your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after... but you haven't BEEN anywhere.
You get winded playing cards.
Your little black book contains only names ending in MD.
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge.
You join a health club - and don't go.
You have all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You need glasses to find YOUR glasses.
You turn the lights down for economy, not for romance.
You can't remember how to start your rocking chair.
Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
You put your bra on back to front and it fits better.
Your house is too big and your medicine cabinet is too small.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles.
You decide to live long enough to be a problem to your kids and get your own back.

So... 85 is the magic figure... 

And we've been assuming the insurance companies are doing us a favour with annuities!