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Jokes - make you happy and say alert to trade.
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Pension
Elite |
21-Aug-2007 08:34
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A stockbroker was filling out a job application when he came to the question: "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered no to the question. The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question with a yes, was "why?" Nevertheless, the stockbroker answered it "Never got caught." |
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Pension
Elite |
21-Aug-2007 08:22
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Market is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex. A long term investment is a short term investment that failed. Economics is an extremely useful method of employment for economists. |
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Pension
Elite |
21-Aug-2007 08:18
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Jocke on Enron #1 How to explain Enron! Feudalism: You have two cows. Your Lord takes some of the milk Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you share the milk. Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The governement takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned. Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. Enron Venture Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then exercute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority share-holder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. |
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Pension
Elite |
21-Aug-2007 08:15
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A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look, I'm an economist. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool." |
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